The Art of Non-Attachment
Photo by Joël de Vriend on Unsplash
Attachment: affection, fondness, or sympathy for someone or something (Oxford Languages).
This time last year, our dog Vino was having a major health crisis and we thought we were going to lose him then. Simultaneously, I was seeing a therapist who offered Cognitive Behavior Therapy for Insomnia, and by the name you can obviously tell my reason for participating in this program.
After 25 years of disrupted sleep as a firefighter, I was still tackling my lack of restorative slumber. Vino’s health crisis was keeping me awake, and I was sleeping less than five hours a night. The therapist suggested that I had issues with attachment concerning parting ways with Vino in this lifetime. She said I needed to come to terms with this eventual departure from the physical life, not only from my dog, but myself, and others as well. I would never find peace (sleep) until I reconciled “At some point, Vino and I will part ways – this is inevitable.” I repeated this to myself each time I awoke in the middle of the night. Eventually, I gained more sleep hours, and Vino recovered by the middle of August. Non-attachment is essential to a more balanced life.
One of the required readings for my Yoga Teacher Training was the Bhagavad Gita: A New Translation(Stephen Mitchell) which means “The Song of the Blessed One.” It is found in chapter 6 of India’s epic poem The Mahabharata. The Gita is a story that asks the following questions: What do we do about a challenging situation in life- how do we make a choice? How do we take a step back and see the big picture? How do we see the truth and take action? The overarching theme is about our internal/external conflicts in life. In Mitchell’s work, specifically Chapter 3, paragraph 18 he addresses non-attachment:
“Without concern for results,
perform the necessary action;
surrendering all attachments,
accomplish life’s highest good.”
In other words, act and engage to give our whole-hearted effort to whatever we do – and then let go of the results.
Before a heart-opening yoga sequence, I spoke with my students about the concept of attachments. Often, we become overly concerned about the results of our work and social interactions. For instance, I post this blog to my website and then share it with my social media accounts. Now I begin to check how many likes or interactions I get on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, etc. If there is little traffic in this regard, I can become disheartened that my published work is not receiving the attention I believe it should (I may begin to see this as failure). That is attachment.
Conversely, if I just hit the send/post button and let it go to the world wide web without concern for the attention it may garner – then I have practiced non-attachment. The Gita states that to attain peace, one must do work for the highest good of all, and then surrender - as we cannot control the outcome. My blog post is just a body of work that may resonate and assist another along his/her journey, but it is an unreasonable expectation that I should be showered with accolades, awards, or praise. Just do the work and let go. Now back to Vino.
In the early morning hours of June 10th, I awoke to Judy crying and telling me it was time to let Vino cross the Rainbow Bridge (I had reached the critical attachment crossroad that my therapist had echoed one year prior). I responded, “Okay, I will make the call to the Vet.” During this moment, I had surrendered to our mutual decision to physically part ways with Vino. I finally understand the art of non-attachment and am at peace.
Photo by Jonathan Meyer on Unsplash
Life goes on, and so should we all.
Namaste,
Tim