MUSIC REMEMBERS
Image Source: Marius Masalar (Unsplash)
"Music acts like a magic key, to which the most tightly closed heart opens." ― Maria Augusta von Trapp.
I am writing this post on February 5th, a day that I have long set aside. It is the anniversary of my colleague's death by suicide. I have shared his story extensively in my writings, podcast interviews, and public speeches about the importance of mental health - especially in the first responder world. The vivid images and emotions of that day twenty-seven years ago have faded from my conscious memory. However, music remembers.
Last night (the 4th), as Judy and I ate dinner, we listened to Pandora Radio. One of the song selections was Shallow - the Academy Award-winning Best Song for 2018, composed by Lady Gaga (et al.) and performed by Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper in the movie A Star Is Born. The underlying plot of this movie concerns the issues of addiction and suicide. Participation in this production inspired Lady Gaga to form a non-profit dedicated to mental health and wellbeing.
I had not heard Shallow in quite some time, and my thoughts immediately drifted back to over two and a half decades ago. I was not triggered; there were no vivid images or raw emotions as I listened to the evocative lyrics. Instead, I found peace. February 5th has become a day on which I honor this part of my journey and remember my friend who moved on from his earthly existence to where I am sure he is at peace.
The events of that night altered the path of my journey through this lifetime. Back then, I did not understand why people take their own life - maybe it was denial, perhaps ignorance. Through counseling, peer support, and education, I discovered that I did not need to suffer in silence (with my mental health struggles). I took the first scary step of admitting, "Hey, I don't got this today - I need help." While I still have my moments, I never look back to how I presented myself to the world in the most intense way.
Image Source: Олег Мороз (Unsplash)
Today, I am an advocate. Through my writing, involvement in a non-profit organization, and teaching trauma-informed yoga, I encourage others to take that brave step to move from struggling to finding serenity. All one needs to do is ask for help. If you need assistance, please reach out to me through my website contact page, and I will work with you to find resources in the area in which you live. The lyrics of one song reminded me always to honor this new chapter in my journey. You see, while the images and memories might fade - music remembers. Until next time-
Namaste,
Tim