As I pen this post in the shadows of the 21st anniversary of September 11th, 2001, my thoughts drift back to my time in the fire service. I was at the gym when the first plane struck the north tower of the World Trade Center, and by the time I made it home, the second plane had hit the south tower. The Pentagon and Flight 93 soon followed. Almost 3,000 people perished during these attacks (including first responders and the terrorists), and 25,000 (+) reported injuries. The toll will continue to rise for decades as the exposure to workers at Ground Zero continues to unfold. I am not writing to give a blow-by-blow recount but rather to share the echoes of my mind.

It was a devastating time to be a first responder (especially for the City of New York) on that ill-fated day and in the years to follow. From that day forward, the way first responders conducted business had changed. Every facet of the job, from EMS, firefighting, and search and rescue to hazardous materials mitigation, included modules on responding to terrorist events. Hypervigilance and situational awareness became the new norm which compounded the stress experienced in our profession. I was only seven years into my 25-year career. Over the next eighteen, I saw the prevalence of mental health issues present locally and nationwide. One may ask how I navigated the increased stress exacted on this time-honored profession. I turned to holistic practices that induced a relaxation response (rest and digest mode).

Lao Tzu once wrote, "A journey of one-thousand miles begins with a single step." After struggling for sixteen years with undiagnosed posttraumatic stress injuries (PTSI), I took that first step. I sought a licensed therapist's services to help me process what led to this heightened anxiety response. I had to do this not once but twice to learn how to harness run-away emotions when life threw obstacles in my way. Know that my PTSI resulted from multiple traumatic events I witnessed as a firefighter, not just 9/11. In addition to therapy, I receive regular massages, acupuncture treatments, and chiropractic care that treat the physical aspect of myself. To nourish my spiritual being, I teach yoga (as well as maintain a personal practice) and am a reiki practitioner. So, why share this with my readers?

September 11th was stressful for those directly involved and the world at large. I say the world because this day and those that followed was an example of secondary or vicarious trauma. News coverage could be found 24/7 for months on end. The constant exposure traumatized millions who watched from afar. Twenty-one years later, many individuals may still suffer in silence because of the stigma associated with mental health issues.

I must admit that I was frightened when I first stepped beyond the shadow of the stigma. What would others think of me? Would I be viewed as weak for not being able to suck it up, buttercup? However, as I moved forward, I realized that asking for help is a sign of courage, not weakness. It was the best decision I ever made, and I encourage you all to do the same.

We all bring a history to the table of life that can make it challenging to navigate life's obstacles. However, do not let that hold you back from becoming the best version of yourself. Take self-directed action that moves towards the path of healing. If you feel inclined, reach out to me, and I can provide you with resources that will start you on your way.

September is Suicide Prevention Awareness Month. If you or someone you know is struggling, please get in touch with a licensed therapist. As of July 16th, 2022, you can dial 988 to reach The Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. I leave you with my quote from lessons learned as both a first responder and human being:

"The echoes of the mind will never let you forget, but in the face of adversity, always have the courage to take the high road."

Namaste,

Tim