Several weeks ago, I penned a post titled Ahimsa: First Do No Harm (7/8/2022). As you may recall, Ahimsa is one of the Yamas (one of the Eight Limbs of Yoga) and translated as non-harm or non-violence. The Yamas focus on our relationships with other beings. The shadow side of this is Himsa, or the harming of another via physical or emotional (verbal) means. In that particular post, I offered suggestions on how we could improve our interpersonal relationships with others in a less harmful way. But what about us?

The most important relationship we will ever have is with the person that looks back in the mirror at us. If we could be a fly on the wall and observe one day of our life- we would note many instances of how we mistreat the soul in our body.

Approximately 20 years ago, I took a communications course with weekly assignments focused on intrapersonal and interpersonal relationships. One task (a lesson in Himsa) required me to observe and record my negative self-talk habits for seven days. I reported that the negativity surfaced when I was frustrated, or things did not meet my perfectionism. I would say, "You're stupid," "Dummy," or any other insult I could lob at myself. Know that most times, it was not because of life-altering events but that I banged my knee into the corner of my bed or dropped my keys. An issue with this type of emotional self-harming behavior is - the more you repeat, the more you believe this about yourself. Self-harm can also be in the form of a poor diet and a sedentary lifestyle. This list can go on and on. Given this, how can we infuse Ahimsa into our being?

The practice of self-compassion (learning to be gentle with yourself) is a great starting place. For this discussion, I will focus on the harmful self-talk habit. In that communications course, the following weekly task was to observe my self-talk, pause, and rephrase in a more positive tone, then note in a journal if I felt differently. There was no surprise that my self-image improved. However, I will now offer a caveat to this experiment.

We are imperfect beings (much to the dismay of my perfectionism) who will falter and stumble - it is a fact of life. When this happens, the himsa self-talk may rear its ugly head. To remedy - pause, take a breath, and return to the positive mindset as it only takes a few seconds. If you need more time, then do so. Learning to be gentle with yourself is lifelong, so be patient.

I leave you with the definition of self-compassion as told through the words of herbalist-forager Brigit Anna McNeill:

"The first medicine you must choose is the medicine of self-love and self-compassion.

It is from this place of care and respect for who you are that your choices will change.

When you love yourself, what you choose for yourself will be different.

You will no longer choose the things, the voices, the people, the foods, or the moments that will do you harm. You will instead choose real healing, a healthy voice, good medicine, nourishing foods, wholesome people, and inspiring moments.

If you do not care for yourself and love yourself, you will keep pouring poison in some form into your bones, believing that you deserve less than, believing that you deserve to be destroyed.

You will never truly come back home to your body to clean out the cobwebs and strengthen the foundations when you do not love the home you see".

Namaste,

Tim