Last week I shared with readers how the kindness of Chief Pat Kenny was the inspiration to do what I do. Regarding my healing journey, Pat is part of my outer circle of support. However, one person in my inner circle consistently stood by my side and lifted my spirits when there were times I thought about moving on from the fire service. In honor of St. Valentine's Day, I share an open letter to my love - my wife, Judy.

 

Dearest Judy,

It is hard to believe that this summer will be 30 years from the first time we met, and this time seems to have flown by like the speed of light. You always say that we can have fun just sitting on a park bench - one of my favorites is at Jump Off Rock. We are enjoying our retirement, or what I like to call the third act in life, with the best yet to come. I want to take a step back to thank you for all you have done to make me whole.

 

Twenty-five years ago, I experienced an awful tragedy when a person I looked to as a friend and mentor took his own life. I spent years ignoring the mental anguish that event caused me. I stuffed this pain into my subconscious, but it always surfaced in the form of anger, especially when my patience wore thin (remember all those home improvement projects that didn't end well?). You stayed with me through the anger, impatience, road rage, and healing.

 

I am blessed to have crossed paths with and married my best friend in the whole wide world. While Chief Kenny offered clarity to an event I struggled to process and understand, you are my source of enduring love and support. Together we are building a life we love, and I am excited to see how each chapter unfolds as we live out our days here in Western North Carolina.

 

Love always and forever,

 

Tim

 

Author's Note: In June 2015, I had a poem commissioned in honor of Judy's birthday, which is the essence of this open letter to my love. I read this to her hours before we took our first vacation to where we now reside. It set the stage for our third act.

 

 

Swimming in Love

 

 

For Judy

 

 

Twenty-two years ago, the eyes of my heart

 

heard the song of your soul and wept,

 

knowing this music was ancient and true.

 

Born on the summer solstice,

 

the most light-filled day of the year,

 

you cast away darkness every time

 

you look at me. You are the sun, Judy,

 

And I am the moon reflecting your light.

 

I thank the world for who you are

 

and all that your being brings.

 

Each morning is a gift to unwrap,

 

each day ends like this:

 

Us laughing. Then your arms around me,

 

love connecting us even as we sleep,

 

Vino too! Our family circle complete.

 

If I could renew my gratitude for you

 

the way we renewed our vows, on an island,

 

against a sunset, at the edge of a volcano,

 

nature reminding us of her beauty and

 

our place in this world,

I would tell you: Love,

 

love like yours can only come from God.

 

I would tell you that in a poem, Judy

 

and read it to you again and again,

 

whenever you wanted to hear it, or

 

whenever I was moved by our love,

 

which is always, which is now.

 

Because of you, I didn't walk away from my life

as public servant, I didn't walk away from myself.

 

I kept my eyes open, my heart present,

 

while you saw the wholeness of me

 

and shined it back.

 

You are my once-in-a-lifetime,

 

my holy treasure.

 

The hand I want to hold always

 

and forever. Wherever life takes us

 

from here, we will go together.

 

Arms and hearts entwined,

 

watching for rainbows

 

and one monarch butterfly.

 

Knowing without a doubt

 

we are, and always will be,

 

swimming in love.

 

 

Written by cin salach and commissioned by Tim